Hey, my friend

Right now, someone is avoiding having a hard conversation with me.

We had a deep spiritual relationship together, and like all relationships, it was/is there for our mutual learning.

Any time anything becomes a speck less than pleasant with this individual, he avoids it. So, he'll ignore texts, emails, leave me on read... He'll avoid talking on the phone and when he does talk on the phone, it'll be a bunch of hurried speech, in motion, while driving, etc... No "space" for me to say things or share what's happening for me because, of course, he doesn't want to hear what I have to say.

This feels very psychologically unsafe to me as I am such a straight shooter.

You never have to guess what's on my mind- I'll just tell you- and for that, I am extremely well-liked! Maybe people don't always like what I say, but they like the fact that there's not something internally brewing that I'm not being forthcoming about.

Think of (if you're American) high school and the "mean girl."

Remember those people? You could be spending time with them laughing, and there was often just a bit of dis-ease because you knew there was something they weren't saying. You knew that they were hiding something... Something was "off."

Actually, I feel this way every time I visit Southern California, but... that's the New Yorker in me taking digs.

(What do they say? The East Coast is kind but not nice, the West Coast is nice but not kind?)

What is kind? Is radical candor "kind?"

Is it kinder to not tell someone they have food in their teeth? I think that's unkind. Or, do you want to let someone with a glob of mayonnaise in their beard walk through the world like that? I think that's unkind.

I notice the longer this hard conversation gets avoided (as I mentioned earlier,) the more psychologically unsafe I feel around this person.

See, I view hard conversations as an act of love.

When we love someone, we give them access to something very special: our minds.

When someone doesn't allow us to express ourselves or be as we are, we tend to build more "protection." Protection, the ego, is the self we become when we're afraid. Our protective selves do not have the capacity to truly see and connect with others... It's really a shame.

This is why I want to share so much this Wednesday at my event, How To Say What You MEAN *And* Be Well Liked!

When we learn to communicate our reality in a healthy way, it makes everyone feel better. We feel more connected, safe, loved, and cared for. We feel good when we share, and there are ways to share without putting ourselves in the victim position or becoming an enemy to the other.

Also- remember- this is GTFO. I intend to have you learn this *and* retain your personality. I'm not trying to get y'all to talk like some therapist with the personality of a saltine cracker.

The event is live this Wednesday, May 15th, at 11:30 a.m. Eastern! A replay will be available! I'd love as many of you to come live as possible, though. The event will be richer if more people show up live. I'm not opposed to people buying a ticket for the replay—I've done it! And... the more voices that show up in that room live, the more perspectives we'll be able to bring into the fold. We are better together.

Click "buy a ticket" below.

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$25.00 3-Hour event: How To Say What You MEAN *And* Be Well Liked! 3 Hour LIVE Event, May 15, 11:30 am New York, 8:30 am Los Angeles. Zoom info to be provided via email upon purchase. A... Read more Buy a ticket

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I hope to see you there!

Also, if you have already purchased a ticket, that is amazing. Please consider forwarding this to a friend!

I'm excited to see you Wednesday!

Stay beautiful

Andee